Why Kan’t Doc Zoe Write?

Mr. S had this stab wound to the abdomen. The transected part of his stomach-bowel was anastomosed. And there is always that complication that it would leak, and it would usually happen on the 5th post-op day. On that day, his drain output was more than usual.

Possible leaking anastomosis? Maybe.

Normally, to be able to diagnose it, he would need an Endoscopy. But since this was a Service case and this is a third-world country, it would be better that the money he would spend for endoscopy be spent on medications and materials needed to hasten his recovery.

So guess what our ingenious plan was?

Gatorade. Grape flavored ha.

If it was truly a leaking anastomosis, his drain output would be purple after taking in Gatorade. And that was my responsibility that one morning.

And that morning, Rumer came in with breakfast.

I was telling him about Mr. S and the Gatorade plan intrigued him. I don’t remember who’s idea it was to see him, but we just found ourselves figuring out who he would be. And besides, why would be seeing our patient?

“Well, you can always be a Service Consultant.”
“In this outfit?” (He wasn’t wearing a long sleeved shirt.)
“You’re a Service Consultant, one whom we asked to visit the patient for second opinion. One who, with enough reverence given, would be convincing as a Consultant.”

And just like that, despite some palpitations, he went for it.
All he had to do was be all authoritative, pensive, and ask three questions:
1.    How old is the patient?
2.    How many days post-op?
3.    How many cc’s?

It’s that simple.

And he didn’t need to understand what those questions meant.

He even repeated said 3 questions over and over.

When he came in, he probably didn’t notice it, but Mr. S’s family stood in attention and gave him the same reverence I was giving him.

“How old is the patient?”
“37, sir.”
“How many days post-op?”
“5th day, sir.”
(pause.)
“How many cc’s?”
(Fumbling through my census, with a bit of panic) “50cc’s, sir.”
Rumer was nodding.
Awright!!!! He was so convincing!
Then I was demonstrating the ingenious plan with the Gatorade.
“How old is the patient?”
(Huh?) “37, sir.”
“How many days post-op?”
(Omigod!… what are you trying to do?) “5th day, sir.”
(Do not friggin’ ask how many cc’s!!!….)

He didn’t.

He was so nervous, he probably didn’t realize what was going on! When we were on safer ground, we were laughing our butts off at his performance!

Oh yeah, Gatorade worked. He wasn’t leaking. He went home safely after some time.

This post is tagged abdomen, gatorade, leaking anastomosis, stab